Insecurities

Why would you want to love me? I don't understand;
               I have nothing to offer, nothing to give--
There will always be someone else; someone better
                         Who has all I have but can do so much more
       While I sit back, looking through my picture window,
                                                      Out at the world.

What makes me so different? I don't think you see,
                the darkness that broods inside of me.
I'm a puppet to society—a heart that gives but doesn't wish to receive
                           who wants nothing more than to change the world
Somehow, someway, so it's not such a danger, such a crime,
           But everything I stand for, you find something good to find.

I'm so tired of the world—terrified before I even took a step,
               retracted back into my shell because the sun was too bright.
Who are you to say that eventually everything is going to be alright?
       Do you not see what I see? Do you not see the pain, the agony?
                    People try to buy bliss, but it's only for a day.
                                  I just wish there was some other way...

My mind is constantly up in the clouds--
         And I don't think it wishes to ever come back down.
There's so much evil that lurks behind every corner,
                      And what's left of me doesn't wish to be found.
So let me hide in my tower
                With my heart covered in barbed wire.
Because no matter what I do
                           Everyone ends up hurt.


So leave me to my darkness—I don't need a hero.
                 I find this all somehow comforting,
                               Like this path was meant for me.
Because when everyone has dreams of the future,
            Of what they hope to become...
                      All I see is a hazy gray..
As if my mind is saying “Don't even bother.
                               It'll never work out that way.”


And then I wonder....”What's the point of dreaming,
                     What's the reason for every beating heart,
When everything is made just to be broken,
                                    When all dreams end up falling apart...”